Happy Birthday Hermione
by Julia Griever
Summary: Happy birthday hermione!!!
1. Happy Birthday Hermione!!

"Happy birthday dear Hermione, Happy birthday to you!!!!!" The Gryffindors finished singing their genial song.  
  
Hermione's face was glowing. Not just because of the light given off by fifteen candles on her cake, but also because it was her birthday. Now she beamed at all the fifth year Gryffindors and her friends seated around her and her cake. It may have been a little babyish, but she hadn't done it in a long time. She took a deep breath and blew out the candles. All fifteen.  
  
"YAY!!!!!!" Ginny Weasley cheered, as the others looked in annoyance at her, "You're fifteen!"  
  
"Ginny go away, will you please?" Ron snapped. Ginny slouched her shoulders and slinked away.  
  
"So ya think you'll get what ya wished for?" Parvati Patil asked as she helped Hermione cut the cake.  
  
"Dammit, I forgot what I wished for! Oh well."  
  
She opened her presents, which is always a pleasure, no matter how old you are. She opened the following things, and these were her responses. 


	2. From Harry

Reading glasses from Harry.  
  
"Harry, what are these for?" She asked.  
  
Harry shrugged, "The way you read you squint so hard, it looks as if you can't see. So I give you these reading glasses."  
  
"Oh…Thanks…"  
  
But the REAL reason Harry gave her Reading Glasses were that he was laughed at and called four eyes now that he was fifteen, so he didn't want to be alone, so he got her reading glasses. Then That way, Harry and his friend could be made fun of together.  
  
His next person to get glasses for was Ron.  
  
Harry grinned evilly. Soon EVERYONE would be wearing reading glasses!!  
  
"Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha" he snickered to himself. 


	3. From Lavender and Parvati

A Hair Accessories kit from Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown.  
  
"Wow!" said Hermione, "I need one of these! I hate my hair!"  
  
Parvati and Lavender grinned. "You're welcome."  
  
And Hermione knew shed use her brush, after so many of them broke. And the other things like hair gel and clips she could use to make her hair look more like a ball of frizz. 


	4. From Hagrid

A pack of Bic Writing Quills from Hagrid. He wasn't there, as he probably wouldn't fir into the dorm. But he left a card with a note inside. It read,  
  
Dear Hermione,  
  
I've seen the way you chew up and fiddle with your quills while you study. So I've gotten you a pack of these, so you wont run out as fast. Happy Birthday, Hermy!  
  
Hagrid.  
  
She was pleased at the gift, but embarrassed that he called her 'Hermy'.  
  
"I'll have to thank him when I see him next." Hermione said. 


	5. From Mrs. Weasley

A jumper (that was rather hideous) from Mrs. Weasley.  
  
Ron's ears went pink as he explained, "That's mom's gift. She always thinks girls have weirder styles than they really do." Ron had been reading Witchstyle magazine a bit too many times, so he knew what was in style with young witches.  
  
"Oh, well thanks anyway." Hermione looked at it once, grimaced and tossed it over her shoulder. 


	6. From Ron

Red hair dye from Ron.  
  
Hermione blinked at the bottle. "What's this for? Halloween or something? It doesn't look like it washes out…"  
  
Ron turned redder, "Oh I er thought you'd look good with a red rinse in your hair."  
  
"Thanks…"  
  
This was not the truth. The REAL reason Ron gave her Red Hair dye was that he was laughed at and called 'Red head' now that he was fifteen, so he didn't want to be alone, so he got red hair dye for his friend. Then that way, Ron and his friend could be made fun of together.  
  
His next person to get Red Hair Dye for was Harry.  
  
Ron grinned evilly. Soon EVERYONE would have Red Hair!!  
  
"Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha" he snickered to himself. 


	7. From Fred and George

A bottle of soapy looking liquid from Fred and George Weasley.  
  
"Bubble bath?" Hermione asked when she read the label.  
  
"We made it ourselves!" They grinned.  
  
Something made by Fred and George? Better not risk it…  
  
"Thank you!" She said and put it along with her other gifts. Maybe she would just keep it, for it was a pretty bottle, and she didn't want to throw away anything made for her by George Weasley…  
  
She sighed dreamily. 


	8. From Julia (me yay!!!)

A lava lamp from Julia. "Thanks! Hey wait a minute, who're you???" Hermione asked the girl sitting on the chair. "Hi! I'm Julia. I'm the one writing this story in my room on my computer!" The girl answered. "You wrote this story? You mean you're stealing us from our master, J.K. Rowling?" Harry blinked. "No of course not. I'll say the disclaimer." With that Julia sat up and recited her disclaimer, a very bad one though, as she (ME) didn't know how a disclaimer fully works (I really don't!!) "The Characters do not belong to me. They belong to J.K. Rowling, and she wrote the book. I'm just writing this fan fiction for the hell of it and because I had nothing else to do. Harry Potter is a Trademark of yadda yadda yadda. Open the rest of the presents!"  
  
(For those of you who are getting bored and tired of it, its almost done (I think) and If you can read the whole thing, I will be very happy!!! And I think it'll be easy cuz in case you're really stupid THESE CHAPTERS ARE VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY SHORT!!!!!!  
  
Ginny whispered to Julia, "Why is she receiving all these dumb gifts?" "Dumb? DUMB?! HOW DARE YOU CALL THEM DUMB! THEY ARE WORKS OF MY IMAGINATION!!!!! And I thought Ron told you to go away, stupid Ginny! You weren't invited to Hermione's birthday Party! No one invited you!"  
  
Ok sorry, on with the story. 


	9. From the teachers

A gift certificate for The Every Store in Hogsmeade Store from the teachers. "Wow! Thanks! I am going on a major SHOPPING SPREEEEEEEEEE!!!" She screamed and put it safely on the pile of presents. "Whatcha gonna buy?" Asked Parvati. "Books of course." "No way girl!" Said Julia, "We're going shopping for CLOTHES!!!" Now that she's fifteen, I think she'd better get her nose out of a book for once and just spend her money on something that she'll probably only wear twice in her life. (that's happened to me before ~_^) 


	10. From Dean and Seamus

A very badly wrapped package from Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan.  
  
Hermione looked in the package and withdrew her head almost instantly, trying to hide the look of utter revolt on her face.  
  
"Like it?" They both asked. Hermione put on her fake bullshit grin.  
  
"Oh yeah, it's lovely!" She lied and stomped on it when no one was looking. 


	11. From............

The Most beautiful bouquet of roses and a REALLY BIG box of Witch Margaret Chocolates from the finest store in Diagon Alley from. "Well, who's it from?" Hermione said to Julia, "Cuz it's so GORGEOUS!! Is it from Viktor Krum?" She blushed again. "Nopers. Sorry." Julia replied. "You like George in this story remember?" "Hey! SHHHH!" Hermione put a fierce finger to her lips at all the gaping Gryffindors who had just gasped. "Whoop. Sorry. He's bound to know sometime though." "Thank god he's in the bathroom." Lavender laughed. "No shit!" Hermione felt herself getting embarrassed. "Oh god.No.Oh man this cologne stinks!" They heard George muttering in the bathroom. "Dammit. I hafta look my best for Hermione tonight! Oh man.I hope she's attracted to red hair." The Gryffindors cheered at the simply stunned Hermione. "Wow Julia, so he likes me in this story?" Hermione grinned widely at Julia. "Yeah. I'm the writer, and my love stories aren't love stories unless the couple both like each other!" "Thanks! I think I'm beginning to like you, Julia." Hermione felt relieved. "No problem." Lavender looked jealous, "Whatever. Can we find out who the gift is from?" "Oh sorry. Sheesh, we gettin' a bit jealous here? Just kidding." Said Julia.  
  
  
  
  
  
"The gift is from." 


	12. From 'No one'

"No one!" Julia announced. Silence. More Silence. Dead Silence. Too much silence!!!! "Liar!" Hermione accused, "So no one gave me these flowers and candies?! That's impossible! SOMEONE has to have gave me this!!!" "Well No one gave it to you. No one is so fickle. He's too shy to even sign his name, aren't you, NO ONE?" Julia rolled her eyes to the CAPITALIZED NO ONE, who was sitting on the floor away from everyone else, blushing like a rose. Well, a PINK rose. Not the blood red roses that Hermione had. "This is No one!" Julia pointed to the person with the nickname 'No one'. Silence. More Silence. Sheesh I don't even know why I'm putting all the silence in here. "Well, DUH!" Ron broke the silence, "He's liked Hermione since we first came to Hogwarts!" "Really? I always thought of him as just a friend!" Hermione said. "Oh yeah, I always learned to read the card first before you open the present. Read it please." Julia politely asked. Hermione did. It said.  
  
Hermione, I love you. Your hair is frizzy like a bolt of lightning has just struck you. But the lightning was probably due to your brilliant skill in magic that just screwed up on you because you were too smart. You're smart. I'm clumsy. Please teach me things! I need to know them! I even have to know how to make out!  
  
And I think you'd be a great teacher. From your lover, Neville  
  
"What the hell, NEVILLE!!!!!" Hermione shrieked at No one, who now is Neville. "That's and AWFUL thing to say!!! You want to date me just to use me as a teacher!" "It's not my fault!" Neville screamed back, "It's Julia's! We were in this together!" "Whoa, hey," Julia held up her hands, "MY FAULT?! That's exactly how you told me to write it. You found it quite clever, even though I recommended a Shakespeare poem recited by Lost Dove, but noooooooo!" "But." "Though I do admire the flowers and candy! But.Hey wait a minute! You owe me all that money I paid for it! Cuz you 'forgot' yours!" "Oh well, I'll just say the flowers and candy's from Somebody Else." Hermione started eating some of the candy. "Yep. Good ol' Somebody Else! Who can it be this time?" Julia began to think (STORY IDEA!!!! ^_^) "Well, except for NO ONE." Hermione glared at 'No one' (hey I like that name better than Neville!) "Thank you for all your gifts. They are very good. But Interesting.Anyways, I don't know if I can thank you enough.wait yeah I can! I'll help you all with your homework for a week!" "YAY!!!!!" The Gryffindor house cheered. "Yes! I finally get help!" Neville cheered. "Hey, she said it was for everyone except for No one!" Julia glared at Neville. "I'm not No one!" "Are too! That's your other name dumbass!" "Oh." 


	13. The End

Everyone had gone to bed later, except for Neville and Julia, who were still lounging in the dorm. "I am going to kill you for that, Julia!" "Why? What'd I do?! You were the one who wrote that poem and told me to type it up!" "But you wrote about such bad things happening to me!" "Serves ya right!" "Julia." Neville looked as if he might cry. "Ok, Ok, if you want I'll write a story about you!" I always feel bad when people are gonna cry cuz of me. "Really?" "Yep. for 5 bottles of Butterbeer, and a gift certificate for the Hogsmeade Candy Shop. Yummy!" "Ok, ok." Neville gave her the items. "Thanks!" Julia began to walk off. "Promise you'll do it?" Neville asked. "Mmmmm..." Julia thought for a moment. Thinking. Thinking. Why Am I saying this? I've already made up my mind!  
  
"Nah." 


End file.
